Convincing a Spouse to Save a Marriage

Anyone that has gone through an unwanted divorce knows that convincing a spouse to save a marriage once he or she has decided to end it is a very daunting challenge. Ending a marriage is a major life decision, and if one person in the relationship is talking in that direction, chances are that much thought and emotion is behind that choice. Trying to change his mind won't be easy.

Although the odds are against the spouse who wants to save the marriage, there are a few things she can do help her chances.

1. Take a step back. During the constant arguments and disagreements, sometimes married couples lose perspective of the big picture of their relationship. Minor problems (like putting the toilet seat down or the cap back on the toothpaste) can explode into all out battle. Are those issues really that important? More important than the years spent devoted to each other? Convincing a spouse to save a marriage starts with trying to get him to see the bigger picture.

2. Take a vacation together. When there are two people with busy lives, it gets harder to spend quality time with each other. It's a sad moment when a husband or wife realize that they are living with a stranger. Sometimes the best thing they can do is take a time out (from work, kids, family, friends, etc.), go on vacation, and focus on each other. It doesn't have to be long or expensive. Going away for the weekend and being holed up in a hotel can work wonders on revitalizing a marriage.

3. Remember why it all happened in the first place. Time can be brutal on a marriage. Each passing year causes spouses to appreciate each other less and forget why they even got married. To save the relationship, those original feelings and memories need to be remembered again. By talking about the first date, the first kiss, the first time that they made love, couples can re-ignite the passion that may have gone out.

Is there hope to save a marriage?  Yes, although convincing a spouse to save a marriage is no easy task. If the spouse that wants the relationship to continue wants any chance of reconciliation, she needs to get both of them to take a momentary step back, go away for a few days, and reflect upon the times when the relationship was strong and passionate. There are no guarantees, of course, but the odds for a happy ending can be improved.

Anyone that has gone through an unwanted divorce knows that convincing a spouse to save a marriage once he or she has decided to end it is a very daunting challenge. Ending a marriage is a major life decision, and if one person in the relationship is talking in that direction, chances are that much thought and emotion is behind that choice. Trying to change his mind won't be easy.

by Cheryl Pierce - 8/24/08

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